• Outfits

    Most leggings brand names are trash and I’m tired of pretending they aren’t

    I have spent approximately $2,400 on leggings over the last five years. That is a disgusting amount of money. It’s enough for a used Honda or a very decent vacation, but instead, it’s sitting in my dresser in various shades of ‘Midnight Navy’ and ‘Stone.’ And after all that—after the pilling, the sliding waistbands, and the sheer embarrassment of see-through fabric—I’ve realized that the name on the tag matters way more than it should. Not because of status, but because most of these names are just fundamentally annoying to say out loud. The part nobody talks about: The ‘Lulu’ problem…

  • Outfits

    Stop buying thin leggings: My honest guide to hiding cellulite for real

    It was Tuesday, October 14th, 2019, at the Equinox on Bond Street. I was doing kettlebell swings in front of those floor-to-ceiling mirrors that are designed to make you look like a Greek god but usually just highlight every insecurity you forgot you had. I caught a glimpse of my reflection from the back. My $110 leggings—from a brand I won’t name yet—looked like they were struggling for their life. Every single dimple on my thighs was broadcast in 4K resolution. I felt like a human orange. I cut my workout short, went home, and went on a three-year mission…